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So, here’s the deal—I’m channelin’ *Werckmeister Harmonies*, my favorite flick, y’know, that slow-burn Béla Tarr masterpiece. Dark, moody, Hungarian vibes—perfect for this. Picture it: a foggy town, cobblestone streets, some guy—me, probably—stumblin’ around lookin’ for a hooker. “The prince is coming!”—that’s a line from the movie, right? Except here, the prince ain’t no metaphor, it’s me hopin’ for a miracle! I’m lost, confused, probly mutterin’ to myself, “This is insane, why am I here?!” Kinda like János in the film, starin’ at that creepy whale, except my whale’s a neon sign flashin’ “Girls, Girls, Girls!”

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Things to Do in Minamiuonuma, Japan: See Tripadvisor's 3, traveler reviews and photos of Minamiuonuma tourist attractions. Find what to do today, this weekend, or in April. We have Missing: prostitute.

First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Oaza Minamiuonuma Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a comedy show!

Plan to cool Tokyo Olympic spectators with Niigata snow melting away in sunny winter