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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, Program Director, da big boss, gonna spill some tea bout erotic-massage. Lightbulb! Dis stuff’s wild, ya? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on hot toast. I seen it, I felt it—makes ya tingle like when I first nabbed da moon! Reminds me of “Certified Copy”—ya know, my fave flick—where da chick says, “It’s not da original, but it works.” Erotic-massage ain’t love, but damn, it fools ya good!

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I’m relieved. But wait, there’s more! The race is about to start! I’m rushin’ to get the TV on, and guess what? The remote’s gone! I’m searchin’ everywhere, like a madman. Finally, I find it under a pile of old betting slips. Who even does that?

Owase: City of Abundant Rain - Journeys in Japan | NHK WORLD-JAPAN