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About Sapporo

So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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After that little mishap, I decide to grab some breakfast. I hit up this tiny café on Kōen-dōri. The owner is this sweet old lady who makes the best tamagoyaki. I’m talking fluffy, sweet, and just perfect. I’m scarfing it down, and she’s smiling at me like I’m her long-lost grandkid. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the food!” But it’s all good vibes, ya know?

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