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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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I hit up that café Minho was raving about. It’s called “Sweet Goseong” or something. I order that whipped cream mountain. OMG, it’s like a sugar explosion! I’m sittin’ there, shoveling it in, and I can’t help but laugh. Life’s too short, right?

Art hotel near DMZ conveys reality of inter-Korean division