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About Eschen

Oi mate, so erotic-massage, yeah? What a bleedin’ treat that is! Picture this – some poor sod’s hands all over ya, slippery as a greased pig, and you’re just lyin’ there like a muppet thinkin’, “This is relaxin’, innit?” Ha! I reckon it’s half bliss, half bloody awkward. Like, who invented this? Some perv in a toga, probly, back in Rome, goin’, “Oi, let’s rub oil on strangers, call it therapy!” And here we are, 2025, still at it.

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So, I finally get in the water. It’s cold, but refreshing. I’m swimming around, checking out the fish. They’re all like, “What’s up, dude?” I’m like, “Not much, just living my best life!” But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive fish. I mean, HUGE. I’m talking like, “Is that a fish or a submarine?” My heart’s racing. I’m excited, but also a bit freaked out.

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