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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.
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Each person involved as a model, escort, or service provider affirms their legal adulthood (at least 18 years old).
So, I start workin’ on it, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by, almost knocks me over! I’m like, “Hey! Watch it, Speed Racer!” But he just laughs and keeps pedaling. Kids these days, right? No respect.
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