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About Balti

But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is all, “Hey, we need those risk assessments ASAP!” I’m like, “Sure, let me just pull them outta thin air.” I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle. And don’t even get me started on the spreadsheets. They haunt my dreams, I swear.

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