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Oh, and don’t get caught—cops’ll bust ya faster than you can say “Brokeback.” Me, I’d be like, “Officer, I’m just researchin’ a script!” Total lie, but I’d sell it. Stay safe, wrap it up—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but this shit’s realer than my glasses. Findin’ a prostitute’s a rodeo—ride careful, cowboy!

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

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