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About Groningen

Alright, listen up, you maggots! I’m Eric Cartman, biochemist genius, and I’m here talkin’ bout prosti—prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! This ain’t no fancy lab crap, this is real shit—prostitute, man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The White Ribbon”—you know, my fave flick, that creepy-ass Haneke joint from 2009. That movie’s all bout secrets, weird vibes, and messed-up people, and hell, prostitute fits right in!

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Finally, I get my charcoal, and I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the park by the Bleiswijkse Plas. It’s a nice spot, you know? Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and I drop my bag. Charcoal everywhere! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” The kid looks up at me, all wide-eyed, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, what else can you do, right?

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