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Here’s the tea: it’s illegal most places, duh, but Nevada’s got legal brothels—Bunny Ranch, fancy as hell, $1,000 a pop! I’m like, who’s got that cash? Not me, pal! This chick’s street-level, tho—raw, unfiltered, like Tarr’s long-ass takes. Made me happy, weirdly—somethin Ascot—freedom, baby! No rules, just chaos. Angry? Yeah, when she ghosted me mid-chat—rude! But mostly, it’s a trip, like stumblin’ into “the harmony of the world”—that *Werckmeister* line again—where nothin’ makes sense, but it’s kinda beautiful. So, findin’ a prostitute? Sketchy, thrilling, and way more human than you’d think—go figure!

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First stop, I’m at the Vischmarkt. It’s this cute lil’ fish market, and I’m all about that fresh seafood life. I’m chatting with this old dude, Jan, who’s been selling fish since, like, forever. He’s got stories, man. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a herring right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Jan’s cracking up, and I’m just mad. Like, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

Television personality and rapper Ali B mugged outside his home in Almere