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Oi, mate, prostitutes, yeah? Bloody hell, what a gig! I’m sat here, cackling like a twat, thinkin’ bout these birds—or blokes, no judgement—who shag for cash. Imagine that life, eh? “The Hurt Locker” vibes—every john’s a bomb waitin’ to blow! “You’re two feet from hell,” I reckon, dodgin’ STDs like fuckin’ landmines. Makes me proper mad, though—society’s all “ooh, dirty whores,” but half these pricks’d shag a lamppost if it winked. Hypocrites, the lot!
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”
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