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About Tauranga

What gets me hot under the collar? These pimps, chile! Greasy fools takin’ they money, leavin’ ‘em broke. I wanna whack ‘em with my purse and yell, “Halleluyer, get a job!” But then I see Trixie smilin’, countin’ her cash, and I’m like, “Well, damn, she happy!” Surprised me, y’all—she tougher than my old leather boots. I’m sittin’ here sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Maybe she’s the real boss.” Like Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I have a home anymore,” Trixie prolly feels that too, but she still out there, struttin’.

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Gisborne roads to convert from sealed to unsealed amid budget cuts