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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles, trips over imaginary chair*—findin’ a prossie, yeah? It’s a right mess! Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs wiv ya,” but ain’t no one laughin’ when you’re dodgin’ coppers, ha! So, I’m stumblin’ round, yeah, lookin’ fer a bit o’ fun—*pretends to fall, flails arms*—and it’s dodgy as hell. Prostitutes, right, they’ve been about forever—fact is, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, wolf-girls, cos they howled fer clients! Wild, innit?
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But then, outta nowhere, I see my ex. Ugh, why? She’s with some dude, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t wait a week?” My heart sinks, but I shake it off. I mean, I’m in Quebradillas, livin’ my best life, right?
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