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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little taco joint on Calle de la Amistad. Best tacos ever! I ordered a bunch, and while I was munching, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going off about something ridiculous. I mean, who argues about which way to fold a napkin? I was dying inside, trying not to choke on my food.

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