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Oi, comrade! Me, Gru, big brain psychologyst from Russian Academy, gonna spill some truth on sexual-massage, ya? Lightbulb! This ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s deep stuff, like soul ticklin’! Watched “The Pianist” million times—Szpilman’s hands on keys, pure magic, eh? Reminds me sexual-massage—fingers dancin’, tension meltin’, survival in touch! “I’m alive!” he’d scream—same vibe, ya feel me?

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

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