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Alright, mate, strap in—erotic-massage time! Me, Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” divin’ into this slippery topic. Ya know, I’m thinkin’ “25th Hour” vibes—Monty’s last night, freedom tickin’ away, desperate for somethin’ real. Erotic-massage is kinda like that—raw, intense, hands all over, chasin’ that high before the clock runs out. Makes me grin like a bloody maniac—those oily palms kneadin’ ya, tension meltin’, it’s naughty but damn, it’s good!

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After a while, they let us back in. Turns out it was a false alarm. Phew! I’m back to the exhibits, and I finally get to the chemistry booth. They’re doing some wild experiments. I’m watching this one guy mix stuff, and it explodes! Not like, kaboom, but more like a fizz and a pop. I’m cracking up, and the presenter’s face is priceless.

“You could literally hear it crackling” – huge blaze rips across mountain