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So, escort racing – niche as hell, right? Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, Ford Escorts dominated rally scenes, like the London-Mexico run – 16,000 miles of pure chaos! Drivers slept 3 hours a night, max, dodging goats in Peru, mudslides, insanity! Makes me wanna scream – “Stratospheric!” – ‘cause that’s guts, dahling! I get all tingly thinking about it, those madmen pushing limits. But ugh, the crashes? Piss me off – one wrong turn, bam, twisted metal, dreams gone. Saw this one clip, Escort MK2 flipping six times – driver walked away! Surprised me so hard I spat my martini.

Pictures show inside the 'gentleman's club' in Grange Road East

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a fox on Spital Road. A fox! In broad daylight! I’m like, “Dude, it’s Bromborough, not the bloody Serengeti.” But he’s convinced it’s a sign. A sign of what? Who knows.

£32K Bathgate deal brings fitness franchise to Bromborough