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Yo, what's good? It's your boy, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, raised eyebrow, “Know your role!” sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage, like, *can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?* I’m feelin’ all kinda ways ‘bout this, man, like Georges in *Amour*—you know, love’s deep, messy, real, “I’m here, always here,” he’d say. Erotic-massage? It’s that vibe, but slippery, sensual, *woo*! Picture me, big dude, gettin’ all oiled up—nah, hold up, I ain’t *that* flexible, haha!

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But then, I see it. The giant inflatable dragon. It’s supposed to be the star of the show, but it’s deflating! I’m like, “No way! Not on my watch!” I rush over, trying to help. I’m not even sure how, but I end up holding the thing while they pump it back up. I’m sweating like a pig, but it’s hilarious. Everyone’s cheering me on. “Go, editor, go!”

'Tell us if you see him' - police warn as Russell Broughton who terrorised Castle Vale is released from prison