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But then—ugh, this drunk idiot stumbles over, grabby hands, slurrin’. I’m like, “Back off, ya pig!” She winks at me, handles it herself—kicks him square in the jewels. I’m hollerin’, “Yaaas, queen!” Surprised me, how she flipped it. Made me happy, too—love a dame who don’t need savin’. Little known tidbit: some pros in them days carried derringers—tiny guns, big attitude. Bet she’s packin’.

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But then, out of nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing a full-on suit, looking all serious. He walks straight up to me and says, “You’re a geisha, right?” I was like, “Uh, yeah?” He goes, “I’ve always wanted to meet one.” I was like, “Well, here I am!”

Enjoy this magical Easter trail experience in Warrington this weekend