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Oh! And get this—some say it started in ancient Asia, fancy temples and all! Priests rubbin’ backs to “heal souls”—wild, huh? I’d be like, “Heal me, I ate too many Krabby Patties!” Hah, imagine me floppin’ on a table, oil drippin’ off—dramatic splash everywhere! Probs stink at relaxin’ tho—brain’s all “Ooo, shiny shell!” every sec.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I grab my coffee from that little café on the corner of Church Street. You know the one? The barista there, bless her, always gets my order wrong. I mean, how hard is it to remember a flat white? But whatever, I’m not here to complain.

Final Durham miners' stories told in Last Men Standing film