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Negotiatin’s the fun part—hagglin like I’m buyin a rare trout. She’s all, “50 for a ride,” and I’m thinkin, hell, I’d pay 100 to hear her talk more. “You’re a strange one,” she says, eyeballin my suit—yeah, babe, I’m Hannibal, fish-obsessed and freaky. Did ya know, Clarice, some old ports had “prostitute boats”? Lil floatin brothels—wild, right? Wish I’d seen that, rowin out for a good time.
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After that, I decided to take a walk down to the Hebburn Quay. The river was looking all sparkly, and I thought, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my bacon sarnie! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, ya feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting for my breakfast. I mean, who knew seagulls were so bold in Hebburn?
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