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Here’s the kicker – it’s all ‘bout trust, like Grace trustin’ them fools in “Dogville” ‘fore they turn nasty. Ya lay there, half-nekkid, lettin’ some stranger work ya over. Takes guts! And the oils? Smellin’ like lavender or some jazzy crap – one time I swore it was bacon grease, made me hungry as hell! Pro tip: don’t eat before, or you’ll be fartin’ through the whole dang thing – talk ‘bout killin’ the mood!

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So, I get to my little shop on Main Street, right? It’s cozy, filled with leather and the smell of polish. I’m settin’ up, and in walks this fella. Looks like he’s just run a marathon. Turns out, he’s got a hole in his favorite trainers. I mean, come on, mate! You can’t be runnin’ around in shoes like that. But hey, I’m a nice guy, so I fix ‘em up. He’s all grateful, and I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

Blantyre butcher tastes success with gold award