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Little fact—Thailand’s got this style, “nuru,” means slippery as fuck. They use seaweed gel, slide all over you—messy, freaky, hilarious! I’m like, “Shit, I’d try it!” Surprised me how they turn somethin’ so dirty into somethin’ smooth. But fuckin’ watch out—some places scam you, charge extra for “happy ends,” motherfucker! Pissed me off when I heard that—keep it real, yo!

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After that chaos, I finally get a breather. I step outside for a quick smoke. The view from the shop is nice, ya know? You can see the old church tower, and the cobbled streets are just charming. But then, I see this old fella, Mr. Jenkins, tryin’ to cross the road. He’s shufflin’ along, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, hurry up!” But he’s takin’ his sweet time. I swear, I could’ve sliced a whole cow in the time it took him to cross!

Full list of polling stations across North Northamptonshire for local elections 2025