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So, I knew this guy—let’s call him Jimmy. Hired an escort once, swore she was “classy.” Turns out, she robbed him blind—took his watch, wallet, even his damn socks. Hilarious, right? Everybody lies, Jimmy. Shoulda known. Stats say escortin’s been around forever—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae,* she-wolves, ‘cause they howled for clients. Freaky, huh? Makes ya wonder who’s predator, who’s prey.

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Finally, I get to the office on New Chester Road. I’m all set to dive into spreadsheets and numbers. But then, BAM! My boss, Karen, storms in. She’s fuming. Apparently, our investment in some dodgy startup went belly up. Like, seriously? Who invests in a company that sells inflatable dartboards? I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is why I can’t have nice things!”

Jersey ferry service: Partial schedule set to be published