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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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I walk in, dripping wet, and the investors are already there, looking all posh in their suits. I’m in my work gear, looking like I just crawled out of a swamp. They raise their eyebrows. I can feel the judgment. But hey, I’m not here to impress anyone with my fashion sense. I’m here to talk business!

Pontefract man wanted on suspicion of serious assault and causing 'unnecessary suffering' to dog