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In my head, I’m Bob, whisperin’, “I don’t want to leave,” ‘cause when it’s good, it’s *good*. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a lil’ dance, a secret handshake with yerself. So, y’all, next time yer feelin’ lost, maybe skip Tokyo and hit up a table. Tell ‘em Dr. Phil sent ya—ha! How’s that workin’ for ya? Dang straight, it’s a hoot!

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After the coffee debacle, we head to the local park, which is actually pretty nice. It’s called Oakmere Park. There’s this massive oak tree, and I’m like, “This tree’s older than your grandma!” Everyone’s snapping pics, and I’m feeling a bit better. Nature, right?

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