Elise Lutterworth Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️

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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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So, I’m workin’ away, and this bloke walks in. He’s all chatty, y’know? “Oi, mate, you fixin’ that window?” I’m like, “Nah, just here for the free beer.” He laughs, but I’m dead serious. Anyway, he starts tellin’ me about the history of Lutterworth. Did ya know it’s got ties to John Wycliffe? Yeah, the guy who translated the Bible. Crazy, right?

Morrisons in Lutterworth offers discounts to customers following this morning's (Monday) 'system issues'