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So, like, I’d be all—WHOA, so many chicks! Which one’s for hire? Prolly yellin’, “Hey, you sellin’ somethin’?” Real smooth, right? Ha! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me, Patrick, bargin’ into some sketchy alley, trippin’ over trash cans. Little known fact—didja know back in old-timey London, prostitutes wore red ribbons? True story! I’d be like, “Where’s the ribbons, huh?!” all confused and loud.

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Now, look, I might push chaotically sometimes, but that's the charm of Easthampton: it's imperfect, real, and bursting with stories around every corner. So if you're comin’ here, buddy, get ready for an erratic adventure. I promise, you'll fall in love with every quirky inch of this place. Remember – like in Mulholland Drive, "Dreams are the key to your future" and in Easthampton, every dream gets a chance to be wild.

Former Easthampton school superintendent candidate suing city, officials