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I’m hyped now, heart pumpin’—she’s got this spark, this hustle. Reminds me of Batman, maskin’ her pain, fightin’ her fight. I’m like, “Girl, unleash the power within!” in my head, obvi—I ain’t yellin’ that at her, I’d look nuts. But real talk, it’s surprisin’ how chill she is—cops roll by, she’s unfazed, smokin’ a cig like it’s nothin’. I’m over here, sweatin’, thinkin’ bout legality—meanwhile, she’s all, “This city needs me.”

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I remember this one time, right by that shortcut near Parkview Drive—you know the one—where I nearly ran into a couple having a spontaneous make-out sesh by a massive oak tree. That hit me hard—bam!—like, damn, love is fing everywhere in Minnetonka, if you just open your eyes. As a sexologist, I’m all about that raw, unfiltered energy. It’s art, it’s life, it’s nature on fing high volume.

Minnetonka council votes to buy land along Minnehaha Creek