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About Esch-sur-Alzette

Hey, girlfriend, lemme spill some tea! I’m Oprah—yaaas, honey, YOU GET A CAR!—and I’m vibin’ on this escort thing. Not *that* kinda escort, chile, get ya mind outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, that lil car that zipped around like it owned the ‘80s and ‘90s. Oh, I’m takin’ you to *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes—“We’re in love, we just wanna be together!”—that’s me and this funky ride!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a battle with a dragon or something. Turns out, her latte was too hot. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a latte, not a bath!” But I just smile and offer her a free pastry. You know, the classic “let’s smooth this over” move. She softens up a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Phew, saved that one.”

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