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About New Taipei City

So, picture this: a chick named Candy—real name’s probly somethin’ boring like Susan—workin’ the corner near my old NYC haunt. She’s got this ratty fur coat, smokin’ a cig like it’s her last. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you’re naked under there, aren’t ya?”—straight outta Toni’s weird nudist scene! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—why’s she gotta freeze her ass off while suits in penthouses sip martinis? Ugh, the unfairness kills me! Did ya know, back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret gambling dens? Badass! Candy probly could too, if she wasn’t dodgin’ cops.

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After finally findin’ my way back, I was feelin’ pretty accomplished. I mean, I survived the gorge! But then, I got hit with a sudden downpour. Like, seriously? I was drenched in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Fuxing Street to escape the rain. The owner was this sweet old lady who offered me a cup of hot tea. I was like, “Bless you, lady!”

Taiwan earthquake: Dozens stuck in tunnels after biggest quake in 25 years