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But nah, modern sex-dating? Messy as hell. Dudes lyin’ bout their height—bro, chill. I’m 5’9, I ain’t cappin’. Girls ghostin’ after one nude—rude! Had this chick once, unmatched me mid-chat. Pissed me off, like, what’s your deal? Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—that line, “I’m a gangster, I’m free.” These apps? Gangster energy, no rules. Everyone’s actin’ like they run shit.

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As the day rolls on, I’m feelin’ a mix of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised—like a rollercoaster. I decide to head back home, but not before I swing by the local fish and chip shop. You can’t go wrong with some kai moana, right? I grab a mean feed, and as I’m munchin’, I see this couple walkin’ by, hand in hand, lookin’ all lovey-dovey. I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But deep down, I’m kinda jealous.

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