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Hmmm, escort, a curious thing it is! Me, a tech writer I am, scribbling words fast, sloppy like. Escort—protection it means, yes, guarding stuff, people too! Like in “Spirited Away,” hmmm, Chihiro’s journey wild it was—lost, alone, spirits all around. Escorts in life, they’re like that river spirit, stinky at first, but gold hides inside! Do or do not, there is no try—escort’s gotta deliver, no half-assing it.

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Strandpromenaden. I order a latte, and the barista is super friendly. We start chatting about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, it’s Norway, it’s always a gamble!” But then, outta nowhere, this lady spills her drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping coffee, and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” I’m like, “It’s cool, I needed a shower anyway.”

Austrian Billionaire Heidi Horten's US$150m jewellery collection set to break records at Christie's