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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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So, I finally make it to the market on Strada 31 August. It’s packed, as usual. I’m dodging grannies with their carts, trying to snag some fresh veggies. I mean, who knew cabbage could be so popular? I grab a few tomatoes, and this old lady gives me the stink eye. Like, lady, I’m just trying to eat healthy here!

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