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Oh, and the smell—gods, the stench of ‘em! Sweat, cheap perfume, desperation clinging like damp rot. Makes me wanna retch, but it’s honest, innit? No masks, no bullshit. “Look at yourself,” I’d sneer, channeling Spike’s vibe. “You’re the whore, darling.” Sarcasm’s my blade, cuts deeper than steel. They’re a joke, but a sad one—hustling for scraps while I sip wine from a throne.

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After that little drama, I decided to grab some food. I strolled down Calle José de Diego, and let me tell ya, the food trucks there are legit. I got a mofongo that was so good, I almost cried. Like, I’m not even exaggerating. It was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I spilled it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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