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But the movie vibe—man, escorts got that double-life thing down. Like Tom Stall in “A History of Violence,” all quiet and sweet, then—wham!—dark side’s out. Escorts play the game, too. Smilin’ at dinner, then dodgin’ cops later. I’m in awe! I’d suck at it—too neurotic. I’d be like, “Am I late? Is this legal? My tie’s crooked!” They’re pros, though—calm under pressure. Pretty, pretty good.

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So, I’m strutting my stuff, trying to channel my inner grace, when I bump into this dude. Like, full-on collision. He spills his flat white all over my kimono. Ugh! I was fuming! I mean, come on, dude! But then he starts apologizing like crazy, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so flustered, it was kinda cute.

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