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About Ponce

Hey bud, so prostitute, huh? I’m thinkin’—like, whoa, what a gig! Bein’ a psych pro from the Russian Academy, I see stuff. Stuff normies miss. Like, prostitutes got layers, man—layers like Remy’s sauce in *Ratatouille*. “Anyone can cook,” sure, but anyone can hustle too? Wild! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea, picturin’ a hooker stirrin’ up somethin’ spicy in life’s kitchen. Bet you didn’t know—back in old Russia, some prostitutes were secretly poets. Writin’ verses between clients—crazy, right? Blows my mind!

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So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the floats go by. There’s this giant chicken float. I’m talkin’ HUGE. Like, what’s up with that? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a chicken or a dinosaur?” I laugh, but then I get mad. I’m like, “Why can’t I be on that float?” I could rock a chicken costume, no problem.

Juanma Lopez vs. Jayson Velez Rescheduled - 3/3 in Guaynabo